Staying Healthy~

I've never been very concious with my eating habits for the past few years. I've always believed in my own personal motto, 'Eat first, think later'. Only after my Hong Kong holiday last year in May did I realise I was putting on weight and looking rounder than usual.

From then, I slowly cut down my food intake and ate only enough to make me full, instead of being overly full-until-can-die type of full. It was tough and took a whole lot of discipline to stay away from junks and desserts. For over a few months I did that and was happy when I dropped one to two kgs.

It was an achievement. For me at least. Cause during the whole growing up process, I've never refrained myself from eating. I was quite blessed to be able to eat big portions and fattening food without actually having a weight problem. I would lick every platter clean. Like literally. It was like a skill. Showing off that I can gobble down food that most girlies would scorn at or deem as 'comfort food'. It was fun...at that point of time.

I'm totally against that now. Maybe its the age catching up. Or probably the fact that I've seen so many people I know suffering from health problems. I'm actually trying to adopt healthy eating habits. I've not completely stopped eating junk, but more or less, I haven't touched it intentionally or bought any home for a very long time now. I now snack on fruits, yoghurt bars, cereals and nuts. Something I'm extremely proud of (at this point of time), cause not everyone can be disciplined to do that.

I picked up exercising too. I sometimes go for a jog and try to go gym for light exercises. I love it. And I love that I have someone to share this healthy lifestyle with. I hope its something we will continue doing for a long long time....

Sorte - Exit In French

She gave thought over and over again...

How she should write this down? The story about her so called friends. The tale about once upon a time they were so good together, people thought they were part time lesbians but now they have become weird together. Are some friends just not worth keeping? If there were differences, why did they became friends in the first place?

She hates the way this girl bitches about others. She hates that this girl bitches about people she knows. She hates it that this girl bitched about her. She hates herself for hating.

She wants to warn her about leading a dangerous life. About sleeping around and two timing with other guys. But she has no say over anything anymore. She is merely a missed ornament. She needs dusting, polishing, and most important of all, attention. But she doesn't get it, and she doesn't really want or need it, all she really wants is just to disappear from the room, from the place she first put herself in, she wants to be out of sight, out of mind, away from this person.

But she can't bring herself to do it. She is not brought up this way. Furthermore, she just made new promises. Which she knows she can barely keep. This time not because she can't make time, but because she doesn't want to make time. She feels so ashamed of herself. Like she is being a hypocrite. She can't help it.

You know...

A bad conversation sometimes is like a bad rash. You don't know when it will appear, and when it does, you don't know when it will go away. You know you shouldn't scratch, but you want to. Nothing good will come out of it, except maybe the initial feeling of satisfaction. Note the word initial. Sometimes it causes you to go numb, sore or even causes wounds.

She is looking for an exit. The perfect sorte...

Is there one?

Grouchy Moments

You know, last time, being a grouch was easy. Just because I didn't really had to answer to anything or anyone usually. I would just be annoyed with things or people and shut myself out from the world if I was feeling down. It was really that simple.

I must learn to shake that off though, and start growing up. Being grouchy is affecting people I love and those that I hang out with, especially Nic.

So unfair to him, I know. So irresponsible of me, I know. I'm taking things for granted, I know.

I know I know I know...

Note to YOU: Thank you for being patient...Always...

My Teacher's Name Is...

Puan Sayang, Mrs. Ding, Mrs. Bala, Mrs. Yeoh, Puan Mahsuri and the list goes on...

Why do you think you actually remember them? I remember these names cause they played a part in my education and indirectly in my upbringing.

I was watching the fifth episode of 'My So Called Life - The Substitute' and immediately was reminded of 'Dangerous Minds' and 'Freedom Writers'. The two movies about how dedicated souls go all out to battle the many skeptics and students, changing some lives and beliefs of others in the process.

Its liberating how one person can motivate or change your life...

I'm truly amazed at how a person can actually patiently teach another, yet alone have an impact on others just by doing so. These teachers, or characters, have some sort of magic in them. They just make you want to learn, want to impress, want to progress, want to challenge, want to think out of the box.

I met a person like that once. Her name is Stella. She taught me english, creative writing and public speaking when I studied in college. I was just a normal-blend-in-student kinda person, but somehow, in her class, you just feel like you can be special, can be outstanding. She didn't need to give you extra attention or read your assignments in class to do that. She just somehow commanded a I-know-each-student's-work-by-heart kinda aura. Which makes her so different from those mediocre, mainstream teachers.

I miss her.

My mommy always wanted me to be a teacher. Piano teacher more like it. But I'm horrible at piano. I don't want to be another money earning mediocre teacher. If I ever do teaching, I want to be someone remembered. Someone who had positive influence on another person's life. Someone who's not just imparting knowledge to others, but also making the process a memorable and fun one.

Right now, I'm just so blessed to know someone in my life who is potentially magical when it comes to teaching. In due time darling...in due time....

How Much Have I Changed?

I used to ask my friends this question every once in awhile. Like maybe when I go through a transition or different phase in life.

Since I've been working in Singapore for coming four years, I haven't actually gave it much thought. Initially when I moved, I suppose I did, but now...

How much have I changed?

Left home for what I thought would be 2 years. But now I'm at 4 and still surviving.
From sticking to only my housemates, I made new friends from colleagues.
Being anti-social all the time, but took a chance with YOU.
Only had jeans, bermudas and t-shirts in my wardrobe, now its overspilling with dresses and some others.
From being bullied at work all the time, now I can stand up for myself when I have to.
Hated showering so much, but now I feel icky when YOU tell me YOU haven't showered.

Life should be different from over the years, don't you think? It only goes to prove how much you have progressed and learnt from time and others.

I'm happy right now....and that's whats most important...

Holiday Hangover...

Jimbaran Beach

Two weeks of holiday last month. The longest I've had in years. I'm still trying to get used to going back to work. Packing and unpacking lifestyle again. *sigh*

But...while I still have my holiday fresh in memory...I want to note it down...

I had a swell time meeting up with Nic's friends and my friends. Home with family was good too. Miss those times...

Bali was lovley. The first night was abit restless. We checked in pretty late and it didn't help that our room requirements were not met, the air conditioning was spoilt and mozzies were flying everywhere. But we went for a jam-packed day of sight seeing and souveniour purchasing the following day. Super tiring but fun.

The third day was rest and relax. We had a whole lot of pampering, from massages to steam bath to jaccuzi to floral bath and manicure and pedicure. I still can't believe that we went para-sailing. Breath-taking looking at the sea from above. For dinner, we went to a place called Warung Sate which carries the same menu as Bumbu Bali restaurant. We ate till we were so full, we almost couldn't move. *happy sigh*

One of the best moments were when we were at the beach after dinner. Just singing along to songs from the beach bar and staring at the starry sky. *another happy sigh*

Going home

I SO want another holiday. Do YOU want to join me?

Disrupted sleep...again and again...

I hate waking up because of work.

For the past few days, I've been attending courses, so my work hours have been like normal office hours. Damn annoying to wake up the same time as others, fight for taxis and end up in traffic jams. Come home, hardly rest, fall asleep doing things, wake up, off all lights and sleep till the alarm rings again.

I miss being able to wake up, laze in bed, take my time to get out of bed. I miss being able to leave my phone as it is and not setting the alarm.

*sigh*