Sorte - Exit In French

She gave thought over and over again...

How she should write this down? The story about her so called friends. The tale about once upon a time they were so good together, people thought they were part time lesbians but now they have become weird together. Are some friends just not worth keeping? If there were differences, why did they became friends in the first place?

She hates the way this girl bitches about others. She hates that this girl bitches about people she knows. She hates it that this girl bitched about her. She hates herself for hating.

She wants to warn her about leading a dangerous life. About sleeping around and two timing with other guys. But she has no say over anything anymore. She is merely a missed ornament. She needs dusting, polishing, and most important of all, attention. But she doesn't get it, and she doesn't really want or need it, all she really wants is just to disappear from the room, from the place she first put herself in, she wants to be out of sight, out of mind, away from this person.

But she can't bring herself to do it. She is not brought up this way. Furthermore, she just made new promises. Which she knows she can barely keep. This time not because she can't make time, but because she doesn't want to make time. She feels so ashamed of herself. Like she is being a hypocrite. She can't help it.

You know...

A bad conversation sometimes is like a bad rash. You don't know when it will appear, and when it does, you don't know when it will go away. You know you shouldn't scratch, but you want to. Nothing good will come out of it, except maybe the initial feeling of satisfaction. Note the word initial. Sometimes it causes you to go numb, sore or even causes wounds.

She is looking for an exit. The perfect sorte...

Is there one?

Grouchy Moments

You know, last time, being a grouch was easy. Just because I didn't really had to answer to anything or anyone usually. I would just be annoyed with things or people and shut myself out from the world if I was feeling down. It was really that simple.

I must learn to shake that off though, and start growing up. Being grouchy is affecting people I love and those that I hang out with, especially Nic.

So unfair to him, I know. So irresponsible of me, I know. I'm taking things for granted, I know.

I know I know I know...

Note to YOU: Thank you for being patient...Always...