Merry New Year~

The clock is ticking and we are just a few hours away from welcoming the new year.

This year has been emotionally straining. With friends and family. With finance and health. Its probably something I'd like to put past me and not bring forward to a hopeful new year. But I remember life is all about learning. Maybe these experiences will just make me a stronger and tougher person geared to face new coming challenges.

I wish my friends and loved ones take with them their experiences from this year to help them face the year ahead. Of course I would wish everyone a wonderful new year, but we can't always be expecting a bed of posies can we?

Cheers to the past, the present and the future~

Happy 2009 everyone!

I.A.M.I.N.L.O.N.D.O.N.

I'm sitting in the hotel room bed propped up with pillows and my laptop on my lap. Its 5.20am, London time.I feel chilly even with my thermal on and some stick it on pocket warmers under my blanket. My hands are freezing up as I type this entry.

I think the people here have the most ridiculous design for taps. The hot and cold water taps are separate in the same sink. The hot water is too hot and the cold water is too icy to be used alone. I end up brushing my teeth and washing my face mostly using the bath instead. You would think someone would've cleverly imported another design especially since this method is so totally crappy during winter. But heck no.

I miss home.

Its such a weird feeling to have after 4 years of living out and trying to be independant. I often sit about thinking about home and all the good things I left behind. My family and friends. All the gatherings I missed celebrating friend's birthday. My mom's cooking. My sister's chattering. My brother's occassional talk sessions. My dad...he's almost away from home as often as I am...

I'm just glad that I have Nic to go back to in Singapore. It was awfully bad when I opened the doors to an empty house and wished myself a pair of ruby red shoes like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. Just so I can wish myself home to my house in KL without having to worry about how many days I have to spend there and how long the journey back is gonna eat into those days.

I wonder how will it be like when I permanently move back again. Will I be missing the home I once had in Singapore? I bet I will...with all the working memories I built while I was there. My emo moments alone. My happy moments with Nic. The experience of living out with housemates. I wonder if there will be a time when I wished for those ruby red shoes again? To bring me back to the living out moments where I missed home....

What a cycle...

Season's Greetings~

Merry Christmas...

I had a crazy Christmas eve celebration with Mandy and Erin. Ended up baby-sitting them after they downed like 5 different shots. Super hard to handle two girlies who were wasted to the maximum!

Lucky for me...I had a quieter Christmas day though. My first time actually celebrating with Nic. After the whole christmas eve commotion, I slept through most of the whole day. Nic was clever enough to make reservations for dinner at this restaurant called Esmirada in Orchard.

Esmirada

It was superb. The best Christmas dine out ever! The ambience was especially nice. I couldn't resist opening a bottle of champagne when the waiters told us about a promotional discount. But half a glass was all I could take and Nic had about 3 glasses. They were nice enough to wrap the bottle up for us to take away the rest of it.

We had the special Esmirada House Salad and their famous Garlic Bread for starters. It was quite a big portion and we particularly liked the bread. Nic ordered a paella dish for main and I choosed mussels with a french cream sauce. The paella wasn't anything to shout about and the mussels I thought, was a little too salty. But we had the longest dinner ever. Sitting there just slowly munching our dinner, at our own pace and sipping some champagne occasionally. So posh....

I had a whole Tiramisu to myself after dinner. Talk about being greedy...

Its so nice to be able to spend some quality time with Nic over Christmas.

Thank you for dinner sayang~

Couple's Meme

You know...my boyfriend is so cute...

He secretly reads the blogs that I stalk whenever he misses me...

He discovered this couple's meme on pinkpau's blog and insisted that we did one together and post it on our blogs. So, after 3 days of pestering from him...here it goes...

tell us about the first time you met and your first impression of him/her:
There are two first times to this. Once, when we didn’t quite know each other – he had long hair, looked super thin, reminded me of some kinda mat rocker-cool dude-kinda person. And another time, after we got to know each other – 27^th January 07 we went watch Babel and had dinner – he was so different, with short hair, baby face, extremely shy (but trying so hard to hide it), nothing like how I remembered or expected him to be.

what’s a weird habit or quirk that s/he has?:
Hahaha…there is a few, but I sometimes wonder is it my quirk instead. Oh well, he has this thing about routine. Everything he does is so routine, from the amount of eggs he has for breakfast to the amount of shut eye he needs. At one point of time, I felt so secondary cause he keep wanting to do something routine instead of spending time with me.

what makes him/her happy?:
Me Me Me!! Hahaha…

what makes him/her sad?:
When I have to go away for work. Not being able to spend weekends together.

what makes him/her angry?:
Bad parenting. Lazy people. People loafing around. People who can’t work.

what excites him/her?
Directors like Clint Eastwood, Paul Haggis, Innaritu, M.Night Shyamalan. Movies like Shawshank Redemption, Crash, Love Actually. Oh ya…and Michael Jackson too.

tell us something funny about him/her:
He is funny in so many different ways. Hahaha. He does this thing over the phone sometimes when he calls me, he pretends to be some Cantonese speaking ah pek and starts shouting over the phone “HALO~ HALO~ Lei hai pin wai ah? LEI WAN PIN KOR AH? HALO?”

what’s s/he like at home?:
Very caring. Takes good care of me and is ever so patient. Super cute and very goofy too.

what’s s/he like at work/school?:
Apparently, when he was at school, he broke many girlie’s hearts. Then when in college and uni, he was extremely competitive in studies and assignments. He is a natural born workaholic. Works like a robot, non stop and chop chop chop. Extremely hard on himself when things don’t turn out well.

describe his/her room:
He doesn’t have much choice with the rooms he rents. But back home, his room is dark blue, quite cosy, with a metal kinda thing he uses for his wardrobe. Its kinda mysterious too….just like him…

what’s his/her best friend like?:
He has three guy friends he constantly hangs out with when back in KL. Fabian he know from college – he’s a real funny guy, very easy to talk to, they share the same passion for film. Jerry – his neighbour, sports buddy, super shy guy who can be quite quiet at times. Nelsen – also his neighbour and sports buddy, very friendly and talkative, always telling jokes, we studied together in college (that’s how I really met Nic). Then there are a few more…Vivien, Esther…I have yet to meet.

do you know who s/he hates the most?: Hmm…Hate? He thinks it’s a waste of energy to be angry at people, so I don’t think he’d go the extreme and hate somebody.

have you met his/her exes?:
One actually. And I met her before I even knew him.

do his/her parents like you?:
Yes. I think I’m getting along with his whole family fine. But just not being able to spend time with them probably cut off some of my brownie points.

what’s the first thing s/he would do or say if s/he fell down and scraped their knee:
I think it depends on who he is with. If with his friends, he’d probably frown and say, “Fuck!”. If with me, he’d probably have a loud exclamation and look at me with doggy eyes. Hahaha J

what would s/he do in an emergency situation with other people involved?:
He’ll panic, be scared and excited all at the same time. Then take a deep breath and start organizing who do what.

which shop would s/he spend the most time at in a shopping mall?:
Fragrance or timepiece shop.

what would s/he have for a typical breakfast?:
Three eggs, 2 slice peanut butter and bread, some muesli with milk and maybe a banana.

where would s/he want to go for dinner?:
The Soup Restaurant, Aston’s, TGIF, Sushi Tei!

what kind of movie would s/he choose at the cinema?:
Selective ones. Mostly those directed by his favourite directors.

describe his/her taste in music: very 80’s, some oldies, michael jackson, prodigy, oasis, chris daughtry, selective pop songs with lyrics he can relate to.

if s/he wasnt going out with you, who would s/he be going out with?:
He would still be single and waiting for me. Haha J

what item in his/her wardrobe would you like to burn:
His really old short denim pants with a red ink stain.

what is s/he good at?:
Drawing potraits, writing, badminton, words, sudoku, wrapping weird shaped presents, giving surprises, sweet talking…

what is s/he totally horrible at?:
Differentiating colours. Like totally…light yellow is white and torquise is green!

what’s something about him/her that is annoying/infuriating?:
He always mixes his used clothes with those he freshly clean! So confusing! And he puts stuff on my bed (like those filthy paperbags he left on the floor during dinner or in the MRT). But now he knows I don’t like that, so only sometimes, he purposely does it to annoy me. Hehe…

what’s something that you two fundamentally disagree on?:
I can’t really think of something prominent. But I think it’s the way my friends treat me and how I treat them that we constantly debate on. Besides that, I can’t really think of anything else. Cause we always seem to be able to persuade one another to agree on everything else.

what’s something that you two agree whole-heartedly on?:
Our family upbringing and what kinda future we want together.

is s/he possessive?: Yes. But very subtle.

why would s/he succeed in life?: Perserverance, intelligence, being hard working. Very very focused in life.

what is the coolest gift that s/he has ever given you?: The digital frame I wanted so badly and Aramsa Spa treatment to date!

what is s/he obsessed with?: Being healthy and looking good. Also, developing characters for his script writing.

what does s/he avoid at all costs?: Singing in public! I like karaoke so much but he won’t even give it a go….

what does s/he spend the most money on?: Eating out with me and everyday stuff which is of good quality (inclusive of his groceries).

describe his/her typical sunday: With me – sleep in till past 11am, dress to go out for lunch, window shop or spend time at home snuggling and just talking, have dinner (or not), send me home / go home / stayover ( or vice versa), sleep early for Monday’s work. Without me – wake up about 10am latest, have breakfast, surf internet, have lunch, play football manager or work on script, afternoon nap, watch tv, have dinner, rest early.

why would s/he be dangerous?: Very aggressive and commanding when he wants to be. Can kill you in his script.

tell us about a time s/he looked absolutely gorgeous:
Everytime when I wake up and the first thing I see is him. He looks absolutely stunning.

what’s something about him/her that would surprise all of his/her friends?:
He is all act tough on the outside and super softie on the inside.

what do you love most about him/her?: I love the way he cares for his family. I love the prayers he says at night incoperating people he knows are important to me. I love how selfless he can be when he is with me. I love the warmth he fills my heart with everyday. I love the way his eyes tries to tell something when he looks at me. I love most when he smiles at me and tell me he loves me too.

the biggest lesson you have learnt from loving your partner:
Confidence helps you battle insecurities. Love helps you build confidence.

You can read his meme here: www.nicholasandrewjohn.multiply.com

I Want To Get Better...

Sigh Sigh Sigh Sigh....

Since last Friday, I haven't been feeling well at all. First it was a terrible sore throat, followed by the usual cold and cough. And just when I thought everything was getting better during the weekend, I started perging! Like having diarrhea. Damn. Its not about how often I've been going to the toilet, but how bad the stomach discomfort is and coming out from the toilet hoping nobody will need to use it for the next few hours...

I've been to the doctor like 3 times since Friday. Nothing much seems to be helping. Then I developed some kinda rash on Tuesday night. Doctor suspected that I had denggue but ruled it out when he took my temperature. I was barely running a fever. Then he told me maybe I had rubella (german measles). Asked me to stay away from pregnant ladies. I confined myself to the house even though I had a date with Nic (he purposely swapped shifts at work so he could go Christmas shopping with me!!) Sigh~ The horror...

I would think after the diarrhea medicine, I'll show some signs of improvement. But it seems to be getting worse. So I went to get a second opinion from another doctor. I had a whole long lecture about how stupid I was to go see him. Should be followed up by the same doctor. I should be resting and give it time to recover. Yadda yadda yadda....Like WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM!? And he said most probably I have denggue and should go to the hospital for a blood test.

I thought he was a little insane and emotionally disturbed as a doctor. I decided to go back to my previous doctor. He told me I'm showing signs of recovery and I should stop taking the diarrhea tablets. But just now I came home...I had to run...for the toilet again...I'm totally confused now.

I'm also torn between going to work tomorrow or staying home to get better. All because I want my Christmas to be OFF.

How? How? How?

Blog Surfing...

Sometimes, when I feel in need to have some sort of human connection or gather some life inspiration or just wanna find a reason to bitch about people or just purely look at interesting photographing skills, I blog surf.

Sometimes, when I'm back in KL, I would randomly click on my sister's usual dose of blog sites. She found me reading some blogs when I was back in KL last month and introduced me to her current favourite one, www.quaintly.net. Written by a young girl who is nick named 'Pink Pau' and has a 'Martian' for a boyfriend. Surprisingly mature for her very young age.

I was in a lousy mood earlier today, cause I couldn't cheer my grouchy boyfriend and knowing that he was inadvertly forced to swap shifts with his colleague without his knowledge and thus causing us to lose our dinner date together. Now we can only squeeze in a supper date before he sends me home in a rush so we can both get enough rest for work tomorrow. *focus* I almost forgot why I was typing this paragraph. Okay. It was because I was feeling lousy I submitted to reading KarenCheng, which Nic thinks I stalk all the time (but she had no new updates at the moment), and I suddenly remembered this 'Pink Pau'.

I browsed through some of her entries, amazed with how precise she describes every thought and every feeling. Reminds me of the first few times when I was reading Nic's blog. I like those kinda writing. Reminds me of how much I secretly love to write and how much I miss reading materials that tugs at your heart, messes with your mind and just makes you think.

There are so many things that I can relate to through her different rantings. There are many things that I'm reminded of when reading certain blog entries. It creates this emotional bubble which bursts when you snap out of that moment, knowing that you are reading something belonging to someone else's personal life. But yet it felt familiar and sometimes real to you.

I don't quite know what I'm getting at through this entry. But I think I just found another blog to stalk....*smiles*

Now I feel all good again...ready to give it another try to cheer up a grumpy Nic. :-)

Jet-Lagging...

Two days is not sufficient for a normal being to recover from jet lag.

I'm just back from Frankfurt and New York. My body has been working like totally opposite since Friday. I started to feel hungry during the late night which is the approximate timing I have my breakfast overseas. Sucks to the max....

I'm so tired on Friday, I slept almost instantly. But I had probably too long a rest during the day time, and Saturday saw me staring into the dark until almost 4am in the morning. Now I've gotta just gather all my tiredness and put myself to bed cause I'm expected to wake up at 3.40am for work. You would think its gonna be alright, since I get to sleep later in the day when I supposedly come back from work. But no. I think that would only further screw up my sleeping pattern cause I'm due for morning shift again on Tuesday.

Sigh~ Life is tough...*shakes head*

Attachment

It seems to be getting more and more difficult to be away these days.

I recently overheard a conversation of my colleague (I wasn't eavesdropping, she was speaking really loud). Her boyfriend is based overseas and she stays in Singapore. The nature of our job enables her to visit her boyfriend regularly if not often. They've maintained a relationship as such for about 8 years. She used to be really sad when leaving him everytime. But these days, she says she's alright with it. It almost feels like nothing. Just another routine.

I beg to differ.

I've grown so attached to Nic, especially recently. It feels so sad when I leave for another country. The only motivation I have is telling myself when I'll be back and when I get to see him next. I guess most people will either say I'm too sticky as a girlfriend or tell me this is just a honeymoon period in the relationship. But I know for sure it isn't.

This attachment is a form of growth in our relationship. I don't know how you can measure growth, but it feels just about right to describe it in these words. Its a wonderful feeling though. Nobody makes me happy the way he does...*smiles*

I'll be back in a week...be good...

Tiredness...

I've been tired...

Family issues have been numbing me. Its like a never ending ferris wheel. Up and down, round and round. Sigh...

But I think living out in Singapore away from my family draws my attention away sometimes. Cause visually I don't see it. So I'm kinda like in hiding. It makes me feel guilty sometimes. Like I'm being happy here cause I've got Nic to accompany me. But I know everyone in my family is tired with their own problems, tired with trying to understand each other, tired trying to be patient.

Being tired can be lethal isn't it? It'll make you lose concentration, test your patience, play with your emotions, and just basically drain your every ounce of energy.

Tell me...have you been tired lately?

Tuna VS Tuna

Last weekend, I wanted to satisfy my craving for tuna steak so Nic and me decided to cook some for ourselves. We bought two tuna steaks but couldn't decide on how to cook it, so we decided on a cook off instead...

The outcome was surprisingly delicious. Nic made the steak with garlic, cheese and added some peach vodka. It was 'absolutly' interesting. I decided to make mine a black pepper steak (some recipe I saw from TV). A little over spiced, but I thought it was pretty nice for my first attempt. Hehe~

I think its a real good idea that we had this 'cooking competition'. We get to share our food at the end. And we had super fun trying to outdo each other. I actually poured away Nic's special sauce for the steak and he thought I did it on purpose cause I was overly competitive! Hahaha~ Sorry baby, it was an accident, really! *looks innocent*

I wonder what's on the menu for our next cook off?

Capetown

View from my room

Capetown is a super scenic place. The skies are exceptionally blue with really white clouds. The weather has been great, with cool winds and plenty of sunshine (although it is a little more chilly than what I expected). I've never been excited to sight see for a very long time.

The highlight for today was whale watching cause the whales from the Artic Ocean has migrated to the shores of Capetown since September and will stay on till the month of November. I went with some colleagues and we were in luck...

Part of the crowd that was there for some whale sightings...

The whales were playful and we could see them flipping in the sea. There were several times which they jumped up from the water. But I was busy posing for the camera and only managed to catch the big splash after...

Sunset

We had a long scenic drive around the costal area back to the hotel. I never knew South Africa would be this pretty...really...It makes my slaving through work all worthwhile again...

Sloth On The Couch...

I'm home alone today for the first time after almost 3 weeks. It feels weird. Not having someone to say anything to or hang out with. It feels weird.

I spent the whole afternoon looking through some old photos. Those from college, from my graduation, from when I first moved to Singapore, from my holiday trips and hang outs with my friends. I miss everyone. There's been so many people I haven't seen since ages.

Sometimes I wonder about what my friends are doing. But I'm just so tired from work, I prefer to stay in when I get home to KL sometimes. I know...thats a real selfish thought. And I've probably been on this subject for one too many times. Sigh~

I guess I'll have to work out something if I really wanna spend more time catching up with people I've lost touch with....

Post Holiday Blues...

Arriving in Phuket...

I went for another holiday in Thailand recently. This time to Phuket with Nic and a group of friends. Overall, the trip was unexpected enjoyable. I had an unexpected outburst. We made some unexpected friends as well. But I've had enough of Pad Thais and Tom Yum Gongs for this year.

We almost didn't make it for the trip. There were demonstrations going on in various parts of Thailand and some of the airports were closed. Phuket airport opened just in time for our departure. But we were concerned about our safety and hesitated for quite abit before we actually decided to go on with the trip. I'm glad we did in the end...

I spent the rest of my leave in KL. It was nice being able to stay home for such a long time instead of just my normal two or three days visit. But it obviously made leaving much more difficult...all over again. Especially since Nic stayed on and sent me off when I boarded the bus back to Singapore. *sob sob sob*

Wish someone would pay me to holiday and travel around the world...

*pause*

Wait...aren't I already doing that?

Royal Coppenhagen~

On Sunday, Nic took me to this extremely posh looking high-tea place hidden at a corner in Takashimaya, Orchard. Its called Royal Coppenhagen. I have never seen this place, yet alone heard of it before. Thanks to Elaine (Nic's colleague) for recommending Nic to bring me there. I absolutely love this place as it doesn't just offer sandwiches, cakes, tea and coffee but also a selection of other mouth watering courses...

We ordered a salad which consist of salmon and potatoes with some yummy sauces. I totally forgot to take a picture of it until we were scraping the plate clean. Then I had the 'Selfish Pasta', which was super duper with pesto and tomato base sauce served together with a selection of seafood topped on linguine. MMmmm~

Selfish Pasta

Nic ordered the 'Baked Cod' which also came with pesto sauce. The fish was served with mashed potatoes and french beans wrapped with bacon. It was superb and now Nic is crazy about pesto sauce.

Baked Cod

We were amazed with the presentation for each dish and totally overwhelmed with the flavours. We wanted so bad to order the green tea cake for dessert but it was sold out already. Its a totally cool hang out place, for couples, friends or even family. Can't wait to go back for another amazing experience! Thank you baby...

I.M.A.L.U.L.U.

I can't believe how silly things I've done in my lifetime...But I'm sure there are a great many that can be written into a super thick book!

My favourite pyjamas fell to its death yesterday night when I was bringing in my laundry. Note: I live on the 16th floor, the highest on this building. Its not like my pjs are extremely expensive or even branded to begin with, but it was one of my favourite ones. And you know how its like losing your favourite things....*sad sigh*

The best story is yet to come...

I have previously blogged about losing my week old handphone in the cab. I also recall writing about leaving my house keys in the cab. I think I have left the bulk of my rented chinese dramas in the cab last night. It hasn't been confirmed. But there isn't anywhere else to left to look. From the shopping bags I brought home yesterday, to the big bag I was using yesterday (yes, go ahead and ask me why I didn't just keep it in that big bag), there really isn't any trace of it. I do remember walking out of the shop with the plastic bag in hand though. So where else can it be other than in the cab...

I'm pretty sure regardless how many times I remind myself to look at the cab seat before I leave, I'm gonna repeat this humiliating routine another time in the future...

*bangs head on wall....a few times*

Give Me 25 Hours~

I need more time...more time!!

I hate it that I'm getting less time in Singapore these days. Work has been scheduled in such a way that I'm not around very often. Its good in a way, cause being away for a long time means that I earn a little more on allowance. But its killing me, cause I've got Nic whom I've rarely spend time with over the last month, I've got a messy room I've not been able to get organized, I've got friends I wanna call out to meet, I've got a freaking tired body that doesn't feel well rested, I've got a growing tummy which needs super exercise to get rid of (hopefully), I've got some fitness lessons I haven't attended since two months back, and tonnes of other things I just wanna start doing.

Give me more time...more more more!!

What's Your Favourite?

I was just reading through my blog entries for the past one year. So different the way I write last time than compared to now. My beginning entries were forced written, like I'm writing for the sake of other people reading it. Then it improved a little, when I had more time to spend in front of the computer, I wrote a little more light hearted ones. Now, I've matured a little more, perspectives have changed...

Its weird, but entertaining to read those older entries. It makes me wanna blog all over again. Maybe I should do this more often. Help me organize my problems, sort out my unhappy thoughts, share my joyful moments...wait...isn't this the exact same reason why I started blogging? Sigh~

Some things just need to be rekindled...

Last Day In Abu Dhabi~

I can't believe it. I've been in Abu Dhabi since last Wednesday, exactly one whole week already! The weather has been over 30 to 40 degrees. I've been hybernating in my room for most of the times. I think I'm getting accustomed to the time difference too (its GMT +4 over here), I'll be in deep trouble when I'm back home. I'll be waking up past 1pm and having dinner at 11pm. Sigh~ So unhealthy...

View from my hotel room window. Looks pretty glum

but extremely hot and stuffy outside....

The evening view...even hotter!

Its been great being able to do nothing but just hybernate all the time. But I was getting crazy not being able to talk to my loved ones or hanging out with friends. Thank God they have internet connection here. Otherwise I'll be doomed with boredom...

Oh well...I'm checking out later...

Tata~

Learning Moments...

You know, in one's life, learning is something you will do everyday. Regardless if you are learning from your mistakes, or other's mistakes, learning from scratch, learning something to expand your knowledge, its a never ending learning process....

I learned some new things during this week. About relationships. Between lovers, there isn't any secrets we should keep, but there are things that we should learn not to say when its not the appropriate moment. Between friends, understanding is good foundation to build a friendship, but never ever for once think, that you understand people completely. Between family, no matter what happens, we are still from the same flesh and blood.

I was reminded today, that it isn't the material things I receive from Nic that makes my day. It's not the gifts that come to mind when I think about him. Its not important if my friends thinks he doesn't spend on me. Its the way he treats me, love me, understand me that makes others different. Its the things he is willing to say and do for me that makes him special from the rest. What people see doesn't mean its true. What people don't see doesn't mean its not there.

I was reminded today, that no matter how good friends two people can be, each person still is entitled to their own opinions. They can share their views, but that doesn't mean that they have to force it on another person or agree with one another.

There are many things out there which I have not learned, do not know about. But the many things that I do know, and have learned, I shall keep it in mind and pave my future with it.

Staring into space...

I'm in London.

The time difference is seven hours behind Singapore time.

I'm staring into space, wanting to sleep so badly, but its only 7pm over here. I can feel my body clock dying inside. Its screaming to me, "Stop torturing me!". You would think I should be used to it by now. But jet lag happens everytime. The only thing I've learned is to arrange my time in such a way that I don't sleep too early or wake up too late in certain places.

Blue skies in London

By the way, yesterday's weather was pretty good in London. Fit for a picnic actually. I walked through the park three times. The lengthy road reminded me of the opening scene in 'The Happening'.

Creepy...

Hole In The Pocket..

Just came back from my holiday in Bangkok. Spent a little more than what I expected. Nothing new, since that happened the last time I was there too. I spent every single cent I had the last time. At least this time I had some left over. The thing is, when unpacking, I realised that half the shopping are all meant for other people. We need to make a new rule about shopping for souveniours.

Anyway...

The trip was okay. Apart from small, normal squabbling between family members, undecisive moments under hot scorching sun, some unfriendly bitchy encounters, and conned money, it was quite a memorable trip. We had our fair share of laughter and light hearted bonding sessions too.

Maybe I might write about the trip a little more when I'm in the mood....

Right now, tired, back-aching, gotta think about work later...

Prepping for Bangkok~

I am feeling a little anxious. Everytime I'm preparing for a holiday I feel that way. Though I'm well trained to pack and unpack, but somehow when its for personal holiday, packing just feels different. So worried that I might forget something.

First time going overseas with my family. First time without my father. First time I'm gonna be responsible for a family trip. I feel tension. But I try not to show it. I hope we'll have a good time and perhaps catch up on some bonding session which is way overdue...

*heart pounds with excitement*

It's gonna be a long trip away again. Wish YOU didn't have to work....

Gone Birthday Gone..

2nd July 2008...

My birthday came and gone...

Its amazing how fast the world evolves around you. Even if you stopped whatever you were doing right now, the clock is still ticking, the world is still turning.

I had an early birthday celebration this year. Was back in KL the weekend before and had dinner with my family. Then Nic took me out to another dinner the following night and we had a bubbalicious shrimp time (we dined in at Bubba Gump, but I think Nic didn't enjoy his main course as much, so maybe I'm just speaking for myself). We went home after that and had a mini-sing-a-long session to the cheesecake my mommy bought for me.

That was cake No.1.

Then I came back to Singapore, had some dinner with my housemate Bernard. Mandy came home that night too, and she bought me another birthday cake! So sweet. I got another chance to make a birthday wish.

That was cake No.2.

Then I left for work on my birthday. Some of my colleagues knew about it. One of them even bought me a cup cake! What a treat.

That was cake No.3 (sort of).

Then when finished working, everyone was gathered in one area and guess what? There was another birthday cake sitting there for me! What a surprise! Out of courtesy and politeness, I obviously had to have a piece of that cake. Not that I was ungrateful...but seriously, 4 cakes for a birthday....I don't remember so much about cakes after I started working...really...

That was cake No.4.

I had a very nice birthday. Wish I got to celebrate with my loved ones on my real day though. It would've been nice. But 4 cakes really...how lucky can I be right? Unexpected surprise celebration from my colleagues was quite a highlight too.

I feel fat from all that cake...

By the way, I love all my presents this year! *smiles*

KL To Singapore...

Today's journey was familiar....

Familiar bus...

Familiar roads...

Familiar trees...

Familiar buildings...

The only thing missing was the familiar face beside me and the familiar hand to hold...

Come back quick...I miss YOU...

Teeth-ing Problems...

Ever since I was young, I've never been a fan of visiting the dentist. I remember that we had to have a dental check up every few months once in primary school and some of my friends would be called to stay back for refill of tooth or some other extraction thingy. Thank goodness I escaped all that.

My most recent visit to the dentist was maybe about two years ago for scaling of teeth. I remember the dentist asked me when was my last visit. I was a little embarassed to answer but told him that it was many years back. He obviously laughed and told me, "Girl, you should know that a dentist appointment should be made every 6 months once...not 6 years once, okay?" *shy grin*

Anyway, I made an appointment today with the dentist. A much reluctant one. I thought I had an ulser on Friday night, but apparently the pain was getting from bad to worse on Saturday and I even had a swell on my cheek. So its either a wisdom tooth growing or a very gross infection (which I refuse to believe it was).

After an X-ray and much poking around in my mouth, the dentist confirmed that it was infact a wisdom tooth and I had to extract it cause it was growing in a weird angle and might cause infection and just be a huge nuisance to me. So I had it remove. Super scary experience for me since I've not been through anything like that since primary school. I was trying so hard to act adult and not let that child in me out. And no...I didn't cry.

I'm home now bitting on gauze which is damn bloody gross, like literally. The numbness is wearing off and I can slowly feel the pain creeping in. Sigh~

Do you think I'm any wiser?

By the way, I get to keep my wisdom tooth. Anyone wanna see it?

Konichiwa~

Greetings from Japan. I'm in Tokyo now. Super tired. Went to visit a temple in Asakusa and spent the rest of the day shopping. I almost had a headache trying to pack my bag just now.

Actually, I can't wait to get home. It seems like I've been away for months. At least it feels that way.

Japan has lots of cool stuff. I never fail to be amazed by the innovative stuff they sell here. And the packaging always seems perfect. So cool...no need to wrap presents. Hehe...

The only thing I missed out this trip is the salmon, sashimi, sushi and YOU. Sigh~

Note to YOU: I realise I haven't been leaving notes for you on my bloggie anymore. I miss YOU.

Can I Buy Your Time?

I'm back late from work. Staying up to do some tidying and laundry. Tomorrow I've got lots to do. Gotta pack for trip on early Tuesday morning, appointment in the afternoon, small chit chat with Mandy when I come back, go get Nic from office and have a nice dinner before I sleep early for the following day's work. I don't feel like I've got enough time. Can I buy yours? Sigh~

This reminds me of a story I heard from YOU.

About the little boy who asked his daddy why he had to work all the time. The daddy told him in a grouchy manner, that he worked so hard all the time to provide better living conditions for the family. Then one day, the little boy asked his daddy how much he earned in a day, and asked him for the exact same amount to spend. His daddy got so angry and scolded him for being ungrateful for what he already had and shame on him to ask for more. When asked what he wanted with that amount of money, the little boy answered him, "So I can buy your time and spend a day with you".

I'm not very good at story-telling. I know. I think I should just go to bed now and think of ways to buy time....

ZZZzzzz~

Need Umbrella?

I was browsing through some photos this afternoon and I found this. Long lost photo I took last year when I was back in KL. It was raining heavily and I looked out at the porch to find my mom's laundry decorated with umbrellas.


My home awning has got holes. I never knew umbrellas could be used this way. Amazing.

Happy Mother's Day...Not...

The thing about my family is...

We always appear so united on the outside. We look like a happy bunch, with the perfect parents and perfect kids and perfect sibling relationship going on...

The truth about my family is...

We always have quarrels and are constantly shouting at one another. We always have pissed off moments with one another and cold wars and emo moments...

At current...

I'm suffering emotional and its really depressing. Cause I've moved out of home for coming four years and only come home once a month, these vibes suddenly, collectively fall on me everytime I come home. Its a super overwhelming feeling, not in a good way.

You know how you've been away from home, you miss the good times, you miss your family, you miss everything. But when you get back to this place you so wanna be in and it suddenly doesn't fit your picture, its like a panic moment. How do you get all of it back in one piece? How?

I try and ease the lines out between everyone. Its not easy, cause I'm there, listening to each and everyone's frustration and I've gotta remain cool and calm. Then you go from one person to another until you think you've got it ironed out. But it only takes one...just one tiny, minor missed out line to put your whole family back into that situation you so carefully and painstakingly pulled them out from. It sucks...big time...

Sometimes I feel like venting out too...But I know it'll only make things worse...

*breathe gal...breathe...*

I want to...

blog...

But I suddenly feel empty.
Like I've lost all the words I want to speak.
I can't remember what I wanted to say.
That's probably what happens when YOU've been away for too long...

I need to find YOU.
Find me.
Come back quick...
Please...

Staying Healthy~

I've never been very concious with my eating habits for the past few years. I've always believed in my own personal motto, 'Eat first, think later'. Only after my Hong Kong holiday last year in May did I realise I was putting on weight and looking rounder than usual.

From then, I slowly cut down my food intake and ate only enough to make me full, instead of being overly full-until-can-die type of full. It was tough and took a whole lot of discipline to stay away from junks and desserts. For over a few months I did that and was happy when I dropped one to two kgs.

It was an achievement. For me at least. Cause during the whole growing up process, I've never refrained myself from eating. I was quite blessed to be able to eat big portions and fattening food without actually having a weight problem. I would lick every platter clean. Like literally. It was like a skill. Showing off that I can gobble down food that most girlies would scorn at or deem as 'comfort food'. It was fun...at that point of time.

I'm totally against that now. Maybe its the age catching up. Or probably the fact that I've seen so many people I know suffering from health problems. I'm actually trying to adopt healthy eating habits. I've not completely stopped eating junk, but more or less, I haven't touched it intentionally or bought any home for a very long time now. I now snack on fruits, yoghurt bars, cereals and nuts. Something I'm extremely proud of (at this point of time), cause not everyone can be disciplined to do that.

I picked up exercising too. I sometimes go for a jog and try to go gym for light exercises. I love it. And I love that I have someone to share this healthy lifestyle with. I hope its something we will continue doing for a long long time....

Sorte - Exit In French

She gave thought over and over again...

How she should write this down? The story about her so called friends. The tale about once upon a time they were so good together, people thought they were part time lesbians but now they have become weird together. Are some friends just not worth keeping? If there were differences, why did they became friends in the first place?

She hates the way this girl bitches about others. She hates that this girl bitches about people she knows. She hates it that this girl bitched about her. She hates herself for hating.

She wants to warn her about leading a dangerous life. About sleeping around and two timing with other guys. But she has no say over anything anymore. She is merely a missed ornament. She needs dusting, polishing, and most important of all, attention. But she doesn't get it, and she doesn't really want or need it, all she really wants is just to disappear from the room, from the place she first put herself in, she wants to be out of sight, out of mind, away from this person.

But she can't bring herself to do it. She is not brought up this way. Furthermore, she just made new promises. Which she knows she can barely keep. This time not because she can't make time, but because she doesn't want to make time. She feels so ashamed of herself. Like she is being a hypocrite. She can't help it.

You know...

A bad conversation sometimes is like a bad rash. You don't know when it will appear, and when it does, you don't know when it will go away. You know you shouldn't scratch, but you want to. Nothing good will come out of it, except maybe the initial feeling of satisfaction. Note the word initial. Sometimes it causes you to go numb, sore or even causes wounds.

She is looking for an exit. The perfect sorte...

Is there one?

Grouchy Moments

You know, last time, being a grouch was easy. Just because I didn't really had to answer to anything or anyone usually. I would just be annoyed with things or people and shut myself out from the world if I was feeling down. It was really that simple.

I must learn to shake that off though, and start growing up. Being grouchy is affecting people I love and those that I hang out with, especially Nic.

So unfair to him, I know. So irresponsible of me, I know. I'm taking things for granted, I know.

I know I know I know...

Note to YOU: Thank you for being patient...Always...

My Teacher's Name Is...

Puan Sayang, Mrs. Ding, Mrs. Bala, Mrs. Yeoh, Puan Mahsuri and the list goes on...

Why do you think you actually remember them? I remember these names cause they played a part in my education and indirectly in my upbringing.

I was watching the fifth episode of 'My So Called Life - The Substitute' and immediately was reminded of 'Dangerous Minds' and 'Freedom Writers'. The two movies about how dedicated souls go all out to battle the many skeptics and students, changing some lives and beliefs of others in the process.

Its liberating how one person can motivate or change your life...

I'm truly amazed at how a person can actually patiently teach another, yet alone have an impact on others just by doing so. These teachers, or characters, have some sort of magic in them. They just make you want to learn, want to impress, want to progress, want to challenge, want to think out of the box.

I met a person like that once. Her name is Stella. She taught me english, creative writing and public speaking when I studied in college. I was just a normal-blend-in-student kinda person, but somehow, in her class, you just feel like you can be special, can be outstanding. She didn't need to give you extra attention or read your assignments in class to do that. She just somehow commanded a I-know-each-student's-work-by-heart kinda aura. Which makes her so different from those mediocre, mainstream teachers.

I miss her.

My mommy always wanted me to be a teacher. Piano teacher more like it. But I'm horrible at piano. I don't want to be another money earning mediocre teacher. If I ever do teaching, I want to be someone remembered. Someone who had positive influence on another person's life. Someone who's not just imparting knowledge to others, but also making the process a memorable and fun one.

Right now, I'm just so blessed to know someone in my life who is potentially magical when it comes to teaching. In due time darling...in due time....

How Much Have I Changed?

I used to ask my friends this question every once in awhile. Like maybe when I go through a transition or different phase in life.

Since I've been working in Singapore for coming four years, I haven't actually gave it much thought. Initially when I moved, I suppose I did, but now...

How much have I changed?

Left home for what I thought would be 2 years. But now I'm at 4 and still surviving.
From sticking to only my housemates, I made new friends from colleagues.
Being anti-social all the time, but took a chance with YOU.
Only had jeans, bermudas and t-shirts in my wardrobe, now its overspilling with dresses and some others.
From being bullied at work all the time, now I can stand up for myself when I have to.
Hated showering so much, but now I feel icky when YOU tell me YOU haven't showered.

Life should be different from over the years, don't you think? It only goes to prove how much you have progressed and learnt from time and others.

I'm happy right now....and that's whats most important...

Holiday Hangover...

Jimbaran Beach

Two weeks of holiday last month. The longest I've had in years. I'm still trying to get used to going back to work. Packing and unpacking lifestyle again. *sigh*

But...while I still have my holiday fresh in memory...I want to note it down...

I had a swell time meeting up with Nic's friends and my friends. Home with family was good too. Miss those times...

Bali was lovley. The first night was abit restless. We checked in pretty late and it didn't help that our room requirements were not met, the air conditioning was spoilt and mozzies were flying everywhere. But we went for a jam-packed day of sight seeing and souveniour purchasing the following day. Super tiring but fun.

The third day was rest and relax. We had a whole lot of pampering, from massages to steam bath to jaccuzi to floral bath and manicure and pedicure. I still can't believe that we went para-sailing. Breath-taking looking at the sea from above. For dinner, we went to a place called Warung Sate which carries the same menu as Bumbu Bali restaurant. We ate till we were so full, we almost couldn't move. *happy sigh*

One of the best moments were when we were at the beach after dinner. Just singing along to songs from the beach bar and staring at the starry sky. *another happy sigh*

Going home

I SO want another holiday. Do YOU want to join me?

Disrupted sleep...again and again...

I hate waking up because of work.

For the past few days, I've been attending courses, so my work hours have been like normal office hours. Damn annoying to wake up the same time as others, fight for taxis and end up in traffic jams. Come home, hardly rest, fall asleep doing things, wake up, off all lights and sleep till the alarm rings again.

I miss being able to wake up, laze in bed, take my time to get out of bed. I miss being able to leave my phone as it is and not setting the alarm.

*sigh*

Extremely Lazy Day...

Its been awhile since I got to stay home the whole day. My sleeping hours has been crazy the past few weeks. I've been programmed by Nic to sleep like a normal human being (sleep before 12am and wake up by 9am), but due to the long holiday, I had and no transition what so ever back to work, my body works are struggling to adjust to the cruel environment. Even when I sleep way past 2am now, I still find myself waking up at 8.30am.

Finally, today, I get to laze around for abit. Woke up, had brunch, watch 3 episodes of 'My so called life', had a 3 hour nap, watch 'Serendipity' and had pizza for dinner. Typical bummer lifestlye. Ain't life just sweet if we could do that like everyday?

I've got work tomorrow, early morning. I've gotta go to sleep soon and wake up at 3am to a life that isn't all about watching dramas, napping and pizza. Oh well, so much for reality...

Happy One Year~

Just got back from a Bali holiday. Beautiful trip.

One year ago, at this hour, I was getting ready to meet YOU.
One year ago, I had doubts about what I was getting myself into.
One year ago, we watched Babel and talked about food the whole night.
One year ago, I didn't know what to expect of our future together.
One year ago, I was wearing a 'rainbow tee' with faded 'baggy' jeans.
One year ago, I liked YOU.

Now, so many things have changed. So many things are different.

I'm gonna meet you for The Mist tonight.
We're gonna talk about everything under the sun over dinner.
I know for sure we have a healthy relationship.
I'm way past the 'rainbow tee' and 'baggy' jeans.
I'm confident we are going to work out our future together.
Now, I love YOU.

Its funny how things evolve into something when you put your heart to it. I remember walking behind YOU, trying to keep up and avoid the crowd so I don't lose sight of YOU. Today, YOU hold my hand and keep me on the safe side of the road so YOU don't lose me.

So sayang. *Smiles*

Happy one year baby...and many more to come~

I Don't Know...

how to deal with loses...

Right at this point, I'm worried. Tried contacting you, but you can't be reached.
I know you probably wanna be left alone. But every person, regardless how much you want to be isolated from the world, must be shown some love, or what is left of it...

We can only pray for the departed.

And for you, I pray that you are still eating, sleeping and living. Please do not give up on life dear friend...

DAY SIX - I'll Be Gone...

I'm leaving for work. Will be gone for a while.
I still feel feverish and awful. But I think I'll manage.
I just can't wait to get over this and go back KL.
Hope I can survive the cold weather overseas.

Ta~

DAY FIVE - Falling Ill

I just woke up from a nap. Haven't felt well since I woke up this morning. Coughing, fever and tummy upset. The feeling sucks.

Its even worse when there is nobody here. I'm all alone.

I've gotta wake up at 4AM later for work. Damn.

DAY FOUR - The Red Box

Its actually past midnight now. So its suppose to be day five, but I'm gonna cheat a little and write about day four.

Came home from work late. Super tired. Didn't have dinner until after 10.30PM. Like kena tortured only.

Finally got to open my last present - that denim dress. *Hehe*

Super unexpected. All three gifts.

Just wish I didn't have to open it all when I'm alone.

Goodnight baby...

DAY THREE - Off To Work

I'm going off to work.
So not having YOU around doesn't feel that miserable today.
Can't wait to come home and have my day off.
Just so I can open my last pressie. *smiles*

Today just feels good somehow...

DAY TWO - The Wrong Stop

Was super lazy today. Didn't wanna go anywhere. But I had to get bus tickets and send some belated Christmas gifts to my aunt's place. It rained. Spoilt the mood or what was left of it to go out.

When leaving Novena, thought I'd be adventureous and take a bus ride to Tampines. I had no idea how long the journey, or where to stop exactly, but I just got on the bus. It took about more than an hour to get to Tampines area. I kept looking out to see where we were going. Thought it might stop somewhere near my aunt's place. It didn't. And I ended up in Pasir Ris, taking the MRT back to Tampines to take another bus to my aunt's. Freaking whole journey took me 2 hours. I almost puked.

Got stuck there for dinner.

I make bad transportation decisions when I'm not with YOU. *Sigh*

DAY ONE - The White Box

I didn't write about the blue box yesterday. It was my first gift to open while YOU are away. Contains super nice blue color danggling earrings. I super like it.

Today, I get to open the white box. So 'kan cheong'. I was jiggling the box, trying to hear what was inside. The purple ribbons were neatly tied in doubles. So pretty, it took me awhile to untie it. I totally couldn't guess what was in it. Then I took the lid away and uncovered another wrapper with Chanel ribbon on it. Chanel - Chance. Absolutely love it. *Super big smiley face*

Now my room lingers of that perfume smell. *MMmmmm* Nice smelling room. I'm gonna sleep so well tonight. I know it.

I'm left with one last gift. I'm practicing my patience....

14 DAYS AWAY - The Countdown Begins

I'm home alone. Again. But the feeling is different this time around.

I just sent Nic off at Harbour Front this evening. He's going back to KL for a long breakkie. Won't be able to join him until on the 15th. That is freaking 14 days away. Today isn't even day one.

Received some surprise presents from him just before we left the house. Such a sweetie~

*Sigh*