Friday, April 28, 2006

Reply: To my friend.

Never.

Never in my life has anyone asked me to "Buck the fuck up already".

That was a whole mouthful when I read it. But I assure you that I fully understand its meaning.

I guess recently I've been seeing a whole lot of successful young people, moving fast and moving forward. And everytime I take a step forward, I panic, cause I'm not as fast and not as good in directions myself. Everyone knows when they want to turn at junctions or go right across. I only know how to stop and let everyone else whizz past me.

Maybe I haven't been thinking well. Haven't been clear about my directions and ambitions. Which makes my brains rust and memory failure takes over. I truly don't want that to ever happen. But it is happening.

Not many people I console in is reaching out to pull my hands. Maybe its cause I didn't ask? But I thank God, that I've still got friends like you. People who shake me up. People who make me realise I want to get on with life.

I can't promise that I've seen the rainbow on the other end. I can't promise I know whether I want to turn right or left, or make a crossing. I can only say that I don't want to "hammer nails into a premature coffin".

Cause I never again want to hear you say, "Buck the fuck up already".

Give Me A Hug Please?

Until now, I have not come across a person who dislikes being hugged.

I love hugs, who doesn't? Especially when its the right amount of squeeze you put into it. Ahhh...


*Tsk*


But I'm weird. When I ask for a hug, nobody wants to hug me. When I don't have the mood to hug, people squeeze the hell out of me. That's just how life is, I guess.

I'm glad I have a huggy family though (except for my dad). My sis is quite skinny, so hugging her is like wrapping your arms around a branch. Brother gives a hug occassionally to send me off whenever I leave KL. But I think my mom gives the bestest hugs. Any angle you hug her from, you'll still get a good hug (and I meant it in a nice way).

My friends are not so generous on the hugging part. So not much from there.

Tonight, I'm deprieved of a hug. Give me a hug please?

*Looks at my purple hippo on the bed and reaches out to grab it*


*Hippo hug* Oh well, better than none...

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Entertaining Myself (Vol.1, Part 4)

Why is it when your friends have their other halves, the practically forget about you, regardless how much they promise not to?
Oh well, like I'll ever know...

Why do I always have to rely on other's misfortunes to remind me of my own blessings?
That's just the way it is gal...That's just the way it is...

How come I keep putting off things I can do today for it to be done tomorrow?
You just never learn. Get on with it already!

Can you think of anymore questions to ask yourself?
Not at the moment.

Conversations...I Hate~

Long time no blog. No mood. No things to blog about.

I called home just now. I call home almost every other day.

I'm weird...and I hate it. Before calling home, I always feel as though I have so many stories to tell my mom, always think I want to talk to my dad, hear my sister and brother's voice over the phone. But I'm weird...and I hate it. Cause every single time I start the conversation, my enthusiasm dies on me. Then it becomes weird, cause I sound as though I am so irritated with the conversation I need to hit someone.

It becomes a conversation I hate.

I'm sorry to my family. I feel sorry everytime I sound that way on the phone. Its just an automated thing. I swear before I start the "hello", I'm so full of cheery things to say. Maybe I'm schizophrenic.

I feel awful after conversations like this. Console me...please... *lifts hands up in the air, looks up and shakes head*

Friday, April 14, 2006

Write...

Dance like there's no one watching...
Write like there's no one reading...

The former, I can't. The latter, I can still try.

Sometimes I just have so many words bottled up inside me, I just can't seem to put it into sentences. Other times I feel like writing about people I know, but fear they might take it to heart about the things I mention.

It is weird isn't it? So, this is what blogging is all about...

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Income Tax

As I'm currently living in Singapore and earning their money, I'm required to pay income tax here. The due date for this year's tax is on 15th April. My first tax.

I didn't received the letter concerning my tax, so I called a few days ago to clarify. They sent it to my company address. To wait for another letter to arrive would take another few days because they needed to change my address and stuff. So, I decided to do it online. Then I asked how. The lady told me that I need to apply for some password. OK....I wouldn't have been half bothered if I didn't hear that they demand penalty from those who fail to submit their taxes by the date.

I went online, but I couldn't access certain stuff on the website. I gave up. Erin managed to get thru however, and it seems that after you apply for the password, they'll mail it to your home address after 4 working days. Like What??! My home address already wrong, right? If you are going to mail me at the same freaking address, I won't be receiving the damn thing in the end! So frustrated ok. And note to self: the due date is within a few days.

Thank goodness they have a thing with some of the Community Centre branches. Ended up I had to go there to process my password. Less than 10 minutes and it was done, for free. But then I still had to log on to the e-portal to settle the income tax thing. So complicated the website....

Well, finally I'm done with the submission. No need to think about it for the next few days. *whew~*

My first income tax. How exciting. *Clap clap clap~Applaud and Cheer~* ^.^\/

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Off to Work~

I'm going off to work again. Will be back on Thursday. *Sienz*

At least my mood now is not as rotten as compared to yesterday. What a good start *Clap clap*

Updates will resume when I'm back. *Bows*

Monday, April 10, 2006

What's up with me?

I'm experiencing some emotional shit, which happens to me occasionally. Don't know what's wrong or right. Don't know what's left or right. See? I'm crapping already.

I hardly log onto my Friendster, unless I'm super free. I did just today. I didn't know they had a horoscope thing. Anyway, mine read "Nothing is perfect -- so keep your positive outlook if things aren't always ideal." How true....

Lately, I've been let down by friends, been dissapointing myself, been thinking and feeling blue. I hate feeling this way. But like I mentioned earlier, it happens to me occasionally. I'm sure every bright star will have its dark moments. This is my dark moment.

Its just a whole load of emotional shit which I can't explain or speak of. Its just there. I don't know what is bothering me. I just feel uncomfortable and lonely. It feels like just soaking up negative energy and wallowing in self-pity. No wonder people say Cancer-ians are a whole bunch of moody freaks. I admit. I'm a moody freak. Thank God I still can put up a good show (when I want to, that is).

Anyway, this emotional thing won't last that long. It comes and goes like the high tides. I'm sure it'll be gone tomorrow. I'll just go sleep it off now. Goodnite....

Friday, April 07, 2006

Just Thinking...

While I was walking back home after buying dinner just now, I was just thinking. Thinking why do adults have so much to think about? Thinking why everything can't be simplified? Thinking why life has to be like that for everyone?

Maybe everyone has different issues to think about. But everyone still has to think...

I thought, I have to think about family, think about family's family, think about moving out, think about staying, think about myself, think about my future, and the list never ends. No wonder some people refuse to grow up, so other people can think on their behalf. But that is obviously an irresponsible act.

Personally, I hate to think. It drains energy from my brains and gives me a headache. Is there no way to avoid all this thinking? Even if I wanted an answer for that I got to think...How ironic...*shakes head sadly*

Thursday, April 06, 2006

TV Addict

Recently, I've gone back to watching rented TVB dramas. Just for the fun of it and also to pass time. Erin and I watched 8 episodes together yesterday, and I actually continued until 10 after she went to bed. Champion! ^.^\/

I can't help it. But it seems as though I have seasonal changes. For a few months I can be spending all my time in front of my computer. For another few months I can be obsessed with watching television for the whole day. Just like some people would say, so unhealthy this lifestyle....

Oh well, if only people paid me to watch the colour box all day.....

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Opps...

Aiseh~

I really didn't mean to break my promise. -.-'''

I counted the days wrongly and thought I was coming back on Monday. But the truth was I only came back this morning. No. More like yesterday morning, since it's passed 12 midnight already.

Slept thru half the day from 8am-4pm, with a pee break in between. *Grins* ^.^ \/

My room is in the worst state. Tomorrow got to do something about it.

Now I'm going back to my VCDs. Goodnite...

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Breakkie~

Long long breakkie~

I know I haven't updated for the longest time. But not like I have many people who visits regularly, so it doesn't really matter, does it?

Been busy catching up on rest and bumming around the house during my free time. Haven't done that in the longest time too.

Oh well, I gotta go to bed...like now. Have to wakie at 5AM for work. Freaking early! I promise I'll update on Monday. Goodnite....