I Do. I Do.

I am in London right now. Just sent Nic off at High Street Kensington tube station.

*mixed feelings* sad and happy...

So many things happened in the span of two weeks.

Was stressing out about going for a holiday in Greece with Nic. Had quite an adventure being in a foreign country, trying to adapt to the freaky cold weather, trying not to go crazy with each other's living habits, trying to stay sane with long hour flights and transits in between. A memorable one.

Rushed back to KL to attend Chee Eng's wedding. Managed to change for extra off days to stay on (otherwise I would've gone crazy with jetlags and different weather conditions). Rushed back to Singapore for work. Left for London with a heavy heart cause my holiday ended and Nic was back in Malaysia, which felt so far away.

Little did I know, when I reached London, Nic was here too. Scheming with a whole bunch of people to surprise me. He sent me a package with 'our' book in it. Wrote a little note that made me cry buckets cause I missed him so much. Then I almost choked on my tears when I saw "get changed and meet me downstairs..." *OMG* I was stunned, panic, excited, not sure what I was feeling at the moment. Called him, but he refused to answer my call. Texted him "Bb where are u?" and received a reply "waiting for you..."

I was so blur after a long long flight, I almost contemplated to take a shower before I actually knew what was happening. I hurriedly changed and went down to the lobby looking less than gorgeous. I was so 'kan cheong' in the lift, didn't quite know how to respond or what else to expect.

Lift door opened. Nic was standing in the lobby. He saw me, shouted for someone to start recording, and presented me with flowers. 3 bouquets. White, red, pink roses. I gave him a big hug, started crying and he got down on one knee. *OMG* I couldn't believe it. He started talking about our Greece trip, a whole lot of other things, (I don't think I could remember every word cause I was super dazed) then he said something about finding our 15 degrees, and asked me to marry him. *melted into a pile of butter*

Never ever expected that I would see him overseas when I'm at work, yet alone London. I always said 'wish he was here', and this time, it came true. How sweet can that be? I truly love him and the crazy things he does for me.

Thank you sayang. I miss you already.

Thank you Mary and Jerry for helping him plan such a sweet surprise. I will never ever forget :)

Holiday Jitters

The past week has been hectic. Trying to swap for off days all the time. Its not funny. My eyes are going crazy just looking at the computer screen. My nerves are going bonkers waiting for people's text reply. But its all been working out well...at this point at least...I hope...

Tomorrow's the big day. Nic and I are finally going to Kea Island, Greece, for our long planned holiday. We're getting pretty nervous cause its our first trip going so far overseas together. We've only been Bali once and Phuket with his friends but apart from that, we've never gone so far - Europe to say the least. Feels like an adventure altogether.

I can't even say I'm half packed. I need my bag for work tonight and can only do the rest of packing tomorrow. So hopefully I don't freak out. I've been trained for this. Packing and unpacking is like one of the things I've learnt in 5 and half years. I should be able to do it even with some pressure right? I'm sure even with blindfolds I can. *looks uncertain*

Tomorrow onwards will be crazy schedule for me. I need to pray that I don't fall sick in the midst of that holiday, attending wedding, back to work, holiday, chinese new year, back to work again thing.

I guess I should start resting this minute and every second I can prior to tomorrow!!! Arrgghhh~ Feeling all loony again!!!

*stress stress stress*

Crossroads

In the recent weeks, I've spoke to at least more than 10 people about changing jobs. Its always different how upbringing, character and commitments shine through each individual when they share their thoughts with you. You can tell right away how these individuals prioritize their lives. They shared with me their experiences, same and different worries for the future.

But even with the many conversations I had, I have not managed to come to any decisions. In fact, I'm only getting more and more confused not knowing which path I should embark on. I do not know if I have that many worries or if I am simply not brave enough to take that leap or am I just making excuses for myself so that I don't have to leave my comfort zone.

The truth is, this is not the first. I've had this conversation with myself more than once. I've got full support from my loved ones, but I don't want to just quit and end up in another shit hole. How would I know if I'm gonna be used to normal working hours? Will I be able to travel back to KL as often? Can I adapt to the different working environment? Will I like what I do?

What should I do now?

Right now, I should go and catch some winks. Will I know what to do after I wake up? Hopefully...

Ushering in 2010

I'm leaving for Bombay tonight. As always, I will end up missing a countdown with my friends and family. Not that my friends will be around. But still...

This year has gone by extremely fast. I can still remember what happened 1st Jan 09 and in a few days time it would have been 365 days past and into 1st Jan 2010? Wow...

I wonder what is installed in the year to come? I've got so many things I'm looking forward to. Probably a new job? Maybe moving in with Nic? Buying a property? Some investments?

But everything still feels uncertain. Just hope I'm not stuck here writing about the same things 365 days after this....

Happy New 2010 Year!

The Flu Bug...kind off...

I haven't blogged in the longest time.
Was busy watching my TVB dramas online, until I accidently catched a whole load of viruses on my computer. Sigh. Why am I not surprised. Should have learnt from my mistake the last time my laptop crashed.
Now I can switch on my laptop, but it takes centuries to load, and when it finally does, I can't connect to the internet. Brilliant.
I'm typing this blog from the comfort of a hotel room in Beijing. I can use the TV screen to connect to internet explorer and that is exactly what I'm doing right now. So it means I'm looking at my blog page the size of a huge ass TV! How cool is that?
But I still gotta get that lappie fixed. *sad face*

On the things I used to love...

Just about a week ago, I went with Nic to watch Michael Jackson's 'This Is It'. It was quite awesome, giving he was already in his fifties, still rocking, moon walking, billy jean-ing, and singing his heart out. It must have been really sad for the whole team, losing him and not being able to perform after all the effort they put into practice. I almost teared when the credits started rolling...

Watching the making of his concert reminded me of how I used to be crazy over Faye Wong (MJ is Nic's idol and Faye Wong's mine). I can't remember how I started to be so fanatic over a singer, but I remember borrowing one of her casette tapes from my cousin and the rest was history. I started cutting her pictures out from magazines and papers, I watched and recorded her every special appearance on television. The hype went on for quite a while.

I attended her concert twice in Malaysia. I still have the tickets, laminated and kept like a secret treasure in one of my locked drawers (although its not really locked). It was quite an experience growing up idolising her. Not everyone around me is a fan of Faye you know, so sometimes when bad or negative things are said about her, I become very defensive.

With the different friends I had, I obviously supported other singers and attended other concerts too. But its interesting how I grew out of these things. I just slowly drifted away from being such a fan. I mean, I used to fall asleep listening to her songs. I use to treat her posters like it was framed with gold.

Now that I look back and think about it, I would find some of the things I did silly and amusing. But I don't think I'd ever regret, cause it was all in good fun. I still like Faye Wong very much. I applaud her attitude and talent. She came out of the Shirley Wong 'shell' and made sure she had a say in making her own music. She made a name for herself by insisting on her ways. She's almost like my version of a female chinese MJ. You have to see her perform live, she sings so effortlessly its just unbelievable.

I would so love to attend another one of her concerts. In time to come...

Gloominess.Being Fickle.

Its been pouring the whole day. Off and on, off and on again.

So much has been on my mind lately. Yet, when I sit in front of my laptop, the computer screen stares back at me, blankly. My mind conversations just don't seem to translate into blog time, if that makes any sense at all.

Lately, my mind has been really fickle. I think part of me has always been like that. But it seems to be getting more and more severe recently. Have I always been this difficult? I can spend 10 minutes just picking two apples in a supermarket when 10 people have probably walked past me with 5 apples each in their baskets. I always end up ordering last at a restaurant cause I just can't seem to choose and decide on what I want for lunch or dinner, and most times even after I've placed my order, I'd still look at the menu and wonder if I picked the right thing to eat.

Ok. I can hear Nic start to panic now. *smiles* I'm sure I picked the right guy. We're talking about a different topic here ok?

Am I just being lazy and dependent on others to decide for me? Well of course there are days when I'm just too dominant for my own good I want to decide everything for myself. But its been a long time since I saw those days. What has happened?

I hope its just a passing phase. Maybe I just need to de-clutter my room and brain for more simple storage space and proper organization in life.