My State of Mind

New York, concrete jungle where dreams are made of
There's nothin' you can't do
Now you're in New York
These streets will make you feel brand new
Big lights will inspire you
Let's hear it for New York, New York,
New York~

Empire State of Mind - Alicia Keys

I'm in the big bad city and its been raining the past two days and especially heavy this morning. Had waffles with ham, skim milk and half a bagel with cream cheese for breakfast this morning. Mmm~ But I miss the corned beef hash I had yesterday.

Its so difficult to go shopping trying to manage traffic, umbrella, bags of shopping and dodging in and out of shops along Soho. Fitting rooms are another crazy headache. Queuing, the endless thick clothing I have to peel off to try on the size, not mentioning the boots and all. Only managed to get two skirts.

Would've loved to go Times Square that one last time, maybe walk to Rockefeller and just take in some air. Too bad the weather isn't agreeing with me. Would've like to watch a musical or maybe go to a museum. Some people would probably say why let the weather dictate what you want to do. But seriously, its sucky weather...

I'm halfway home...

Happy birthday my sayang~

I want to grow old like that....

This photo was taken when Nic and I was in Changi Airport waiting to depart for Greece.

5 Degrees

Its cold in London. Brrr~ I think its about 5 degrees.

I was called to fly London on the 4th March, which was exactly the date (last month) that Nic proposed. When I arrived yesterday, I was half expecting the weird people, the package, the note, and my baby surprising me. If he were here, we would have had breakfast with Mandy and sister, and right about now, we would be taking a bus to Westfield.

I miss YOU.

Wish YOU were here to keep me warm.

I Do. I Do.

I am in London right now. Just sent Nic off at High Street Kensington tube station.

*mixed feelings* sad and happy...

So many things happened in the span of two weeks.

Was stressing out about going for a holiday in Greece with Nic. Had quite an adventure being in a foreign country, trying to adapt to the freaky cold weather, trying not to go crazy with each other's living habits, trying to stay sane with long hour flights and transits in between. A memorable one.

Rushed back to KL to attend Chee Eng's wedding. Managed to change for extra off days to stay on (otherwise I would've gone crazy with jetlags and different weather conditions). Rushed back to Singapore for work. Left for London with a heavy heart cause my holiday ended and Nic was back in Malaysia, which felt so far away.

Little did I know, when I reached London, Nic was here too. Scheming with a whole bunch of people to surprise me. He sent me a package with 'our' book in it. Wrote a little note that made me cry buckets cause I missed him so much. Then I almost choked on my tears when I saw "get changed and meet me downstairs..." *OMG* I was stunned, panic, excited, not sure what I was feeling at the moment. Called him, but he refused to answer my call. Texted him "Bb where are u?" and received a reply "waiting for you..."

I was so blur after a long long flight, I almost contemplated to take a shower before I actually knew what was happening. I hurriedly changed and went down to the lobby looking less than gorgeous. I was so 'kan cheong' in the lift, didn't quite know how to respond or what else to expect.

Lift door opened. Nic was standing in the lobby. He saw me, shouted for someone to start recording, and presented me with flowers. 3 bouquets. White, red, pink roses. I gave him a big hug, started crying and he got down on one knee. *OMG* I couldn't believe it. He started talking about our Greece trip, a whole lot of other things, (I don't think I could remember every word cause I was super dazed) then he said something about finding our 15 degrees, and asked me to marry him. *melted into a pile of butter*

Never ever expected that I would see him overseas when I'm at work, yet alone London. I always said 'wish he was here', and this time, it came true. How sweet can that be? I truly love him and the crazy things he does for me.

Thank you sayang. I miss you already.

Thank you Mary and Jerry for helping him plan such a sweet surprise. I will never ever forget :)

Holiday Jitters

The past week has been hectic. Trying to swap for off days all the time. Its not funny. My eyes are going crazy just looking at the computer screen. My nerves are going bonkers waiting for people's text reply. But its all been working out well...at this point at least...I hope...

Tomorrow's the big day. Nic and I are finally going to Kea Island, Greece, for our long planned holiday. We're getting pretty nervous cause its our first trip going so far overseas together. We've only been Bali once and Phuket with his friends but apart from that, we've never gone so far - Europe to say the least. Feels like an adventure altogether.

I can't even say I'm half packed. I need my bag for work tonight and can only do the rest of packing tomorrow. So hopefully I don't freak out. I've been trained for this. Packing and unpacking is like one of the things I've learnt in 5 and half years. I should be able to do it even with some pressure right? I'm sure even with blindfolds I can. *looks uncertain*

Tomorrow onwards will be crazy schedule for me. I need to pray that I don't fall sick in the midst of that holiday, attending wedding, back to work, holiday, chinese new year, back to work again thing.

I guess I should start resting this minute and every second I can prior to tomorrow!!! Arrgghhh~ Feeling all loony again!!!

*stress stress stress*

Crossroads

In the recent weeks, I've spoke to at least more than 10 people about changing jobs. Its always different how upbringing, character and commitments shine through each individual when they share their thoughts with you. You can tell right away how these individuals prioritize their lives. They shared with me their experiences, same and different worries for the future.

But even with the many conversations I had, I have not managed to come to any decisions. In fact, I'm only getting more and more confused not knowing which path I should embark on. I do not know if I have that many worries or if I am simply not brave enough to take that leap or am I just making excuses for myself so that I don't have to leave my comfort zone.

The truth is, this is not the first. I've had this conversation with myself more than once. I've got full support from my loved ones, but I don't want to just quit and end up in another shit hole. How would I know if I'm gonna be used to normal working hours? Will I be able to travel back to KL as often? Can I adapt to the different working environment? Will I like what I do?

What should I do now?

Right now, I should go and catch some winks. Will I know what to do after I wake up? Hopefully...

Ushering in 2010

I'm leaving for Bombay tonight. As always, I will end up missing a countdown with my friends and family. Not that my friends will be around. But still...

This year has gone by extremely fast. I can still remember what happened 1st Jan 09 and in a few days time it would have been 365 days past and into 1st Jan 2010? Wow...

I wonder what is installed in the year to come? I've got so many things I'm looking forward to. Probably a new job? Maybe moving in with Nic? Buying a property? Some investments?

But everything still feels uncertain. Just hope I'm not stuck here writing about the same things 365 days after this....

Happy New 2010 Year!