On My Grandfather

I was in London when I received news about my grandfather being hospitalized. He had a sudden moment of weak knees and injured himself. After his operation, the doctor advised that he stayed in bed for 3 months to ensure maximum rest.

My mom sent text messages to me informing me about the situation. She decided to make a day trip to Penang to visit him. I asked her if I should cancel the trip to Osaka. She said we should be able to proceed and she'll update me on how he is getting on. The network was super screwed up, cause I kept receiving the same messages over and over again. But I never received the new ones...

The following day, I was out for a while and left my handphone in the hotel room. Two unknown calls were reflected on my mobile when I went back. I never thought it was emergency call from my mom. I left the hotel for lunch, but I felt uneasy the whole time. I thought I was experiencing one of my lousy mood swings again....until my mom called, scolded me for not replying her messages, and I still had no idea what was going on, then she blurted that my grandfather passed away.

Apparently, he was kicking up a fuss about going home after the operation and refused the doctor's advice about staying in bed. The nurses couldn't handle him, so they gave him a shot to make him sleep. I think it was an over dose of sedation. He didn't wake up after that....

I felt so terrible. For missing the messages, missing the call, and missing not being there. By the time my mom contacted me, my whole family and other relatives had arrived in Penang and was in the midst of preparing for the funeral. I was shocked and stunned and crying in public. I tried to work out the flights going to Penang, hoping I'll be able to make it for the funeral wake. But I could hardly think straight.

Its not like I was close to my grandfather. I was never around him much. He spoke in Hokkien dialect with a heavy China chinese accent which I hardly understood. He lived in Penang which I probably visited only once in a couple of years. The last time I saw him was during my graduation for Degree. That was about it.

Anyway, I missed his funeral. I feel awful and guilty. All the flights that could've brought me there were all at the wrong timing. I just hope he understands...