Was on the phone with my mom just now. Talked about whether or not I should quit my job, whether or not I should leave here and go back to KL. This conversation has repeated so many times, I've already lost count of it...
Its a difficult decision for me to make. My parents don't want to put any financial burden on me, so they advice me to go on with life as how I planned it. But how can I? Like let my parents support both my siblings' education on their own? Cause I definately won't be able to contribute much or at all if I pack my bags now and go home. Drag and buy time...that's all I can do for now while I think about it.
Then I gave a long overdued call to my aunt's. Wanted to talk to my grandma, but she was already asleep. Ever since my (maternal) grandpa passed away, the nagging my mom always gave me about visiting and calling my (paternal) grandma has been digging deep into my heart. I know I'm a terrible grand daughter.
My grandma has been suffering from several illness, namely parkinson's disease, osteoporosis, thyriod and other minor elderly ailments. She thinks negatively about her illness. Always mentions that she is a burden to others, just sitting around waiting for death. Tell me, how to console her? Everytime I visit her, I wish there was something I could do to lessen her grief.
*Aih* So heart wrenching when I think of all these things...I can only feel pain...
Buy her some fruits. Then sit and tell her that she has achieved what many don't. A grandchild who can and is willing to buy their grandparent something. Her hard work paid off in that sense, no? :P
ReplyDeleteYes Julian yeh-yeh...
ReplyDeleteMy guilt is not making the time to n sit and talk to her...which I will try my best to do in the coming months...