You know sometimes you get this naggy feeling. This super lazy, uncomfortable feeling towards work? Then you think, its about time I moved on....
I'm having one of this moments again.
But the sad thing is, like some people, I'd just talk about it, be de-motivated about it, be sad about it, be negative about it, be depressed about it, but I'd never actually do anything about it. Its horrible. Cause its like a curse that never ends.
Nic asked me, "What happened to the girl he first met? The one full of confidence and dreams, especially with the things she loves to do." I really don't know what happened. Maybe when I was younger, I wanted to prove people wrong, I wanted to outdo myself so people won't look at me as a weakling.
I remember being so adament on taking up the part-time writing job in Astro. I thought that was the road to my ambitions. I thought that would bring me places. And because it was so out of the way, I insisted on buying my own car. And just to pay off the car monthly installment, I worked 7 days a week, sometimes 2 jobs a day. But I was good. I survived. It was hard work, but I wanted it. I choosed it.
Coming over to Singapore to work was probably the biggest leap I took. But it was good. It opened up my world. It showed me things I wouldn't have known if I stayed on in Malaysia. I learned alot about people, about life, about responsibilities. But responsibilities come in so many different forms. I think I might have taken a little more than I expected to.
What do I do now? What should be my next move?
I need to summon all the courage I can from within to decide what I should do next. Wish me luck....*fingers crossed*
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