My Bus Experience...

I took a bus back from the airport last night. Something I only do once in a while, and definately not during the night. Cause after I alight at the bus stop, I still need to walk uphill about 5 minutes to reach home. During the night, its a little scary for me.

Anyway, something went wrong with the bus service last night and resulted in a long queue of people. When the bus finally reached, everyone boarded and I knew I was going to end up standing near the driver's seat. With a heavy bag in toll, I was already eyeing on a spot where I could put my baggage and stand to support it without being in the way of others.

But no.

These four teenage boys had to go put their shopping there and two of them actually had the cheek to sit there. They were blocking the way of others with their knees sticking out. Okay fine. They got there first. So, I'll stop bitching about them.

As I mentioned earlier, the bus service was screwed for that night, so every bus stop had at least a few people waiting to board the bus. If those who were standing right behind of the bus made some space, we could jolly well accomodate more people. But nobody was moving. I half expected the driver to stand up and yell on top of his voice, "Masuk belakang, masuk belakang, MASUK BELAKANG!!!" But this would only happen in KL. We just had to move ourselves when you're in Singapore.

I overheard one guy complaining about how packed the bus was. I thought to myself, "This is nothing man. You've still got at least 3-5cm before you rub shoulder or asses with a stranger. Wait till you take a bus in KL. That is super sardine pack. That is what you call madness!"

I ain't complaining. But if given a choice, I'd still prefer a cab or car anytime. Cause I wasted a freaking hour for that bus ride.

5 years...

Today, I had a chat with one of my friends through MSN, just like any other day. Until he told me that he was having doubts about his relationship with his girlfriend of 5 years. 5 years....

I remember a few months back, he was telling me how he missed his girlfriend when she's not around, how badly he wants her to move in with him, how he wanted to prepare for their future together. But now, he tells me he's having doubts.

First reaction, I asked him why. He says he doesn't want to be stuck to one girl when there might be others. He says after 5 years of being together and living together, there is nothing much you can do anymore. Is that true?

I'm pretty sure that girl does not know for nuts that he is having these thoughts. If I'm in her shoes, I'd be crushed to know my boyfriend thinks that way of me. I'd be lost for words that he is dumping me because he wants to experience some other relationship. All these, just because he thinks he might be losing out on better options.

I know there is a possibility of your love and affections fading. But crap. Do you know what the hell are you talking about here? 5 years of being together is going to go down the drain just because you think there might be some other girls out there better than her. Its like a huge risk to take. What if you couldn't find someone a better match for you? Are you counting on your ex to take you back? I don't think in relationships, there are such things as contingency plans.

But heck. You live your own life. I just listen and watch. All I can say is, please think before you act. All the best....*shakes your hand and gives you a pat on the back*

Reply: To my friend.

Never.

Never in my life has anyone asked me to "Buck the fuck up already".

That was a whole mouthful when I read it. But I assure you that I fully understand its meaning.

I guess recently I've been seeing a whole lot of successful young people, moving fast and moving forward. And everytime I take a step forward, I panic, cause I'm not as fast and not as good in directions myself. Everyone knows when they want to turn at junctions or go right across. I only know how to stop and let everyone else whizz past me.

Maybe I haven't been thinking well. Haven't been clear about my directions and ambitions. Which makes my brains rust and memory failure takes over. I truly don't want that to ever happen. But it is happening.

Not many people I console in is reaching out to pull my hands. Maybe its cause I didn't ask? But I thank God, that I've still got friends like you. People who shake me up. People who make me realise I want to get on with life.

I can't promise that I've seen the rainbow on the other end. I can't promise I know whether I want to turn right or left, or make a crossing. I can only say that I don't want to "hammer nails into a premature coffin".

Cause I never again want to hear you say, "Buck the fuck up already".

Give Me A Hug Please?

Until now, I have not come across a person who dislikes being hugged.

I love hugs, who doesn't? Especially when its the right amount of squeeze you put into it. Ahhh...

*Tsk*

But I'm weird. When I ask for a hug, nobody wants to hug me. When I don't have the mood to hug, people squeeze the hell out of me. That's just how life is, I guess.

I'm glad I have a huggy family though (except for my dad). My sis is quite skinny, so hugging her is like wrapping your arms around a branch. Brother gives a hug occassionally to send me off whenever I leave KL. But I think my mom gives the bestest hugs. Any angle you hug her from, you'll still get a good hug (and I meant it in a nice way).

My friends are not so generous on the hugging part. So not much from there.

Tonight, I'm deprieved of a hug. Give me a hug please?

*Looks at my purple hippo on the bed and reaches out to grab it*

*Hippo hug* Oh well, better than none...

Entertaining Myself (Vol.1, Part 4)

Why is it when your friends have their other halves, the practically forget about you, regardless how much they promise not to?
Oh well, like I'll ever know...

Why do I always have to rely on other's misfortunes to remind me of my own blessings?
That's just the way it is gal...That's just the way it is...

How come I keep putting off things I can do today for it to be done tomorrow?
You just never learn. Get on with it already!

Can you think of anymore questions to ask yourself?
Not at the moment.

Conversations...I Hate~

Long time no blog. No mood. No things to blog about.

I called home just now. I call home almost every other day.

I'm weird...and I hate it. Before calling home, I always feel as though I have so many stories to tell my mom, always think I want to talk to my dad, hear my sister and brother's voice over the phone. But I'm weird...and I hate it. Cause every single time I start the conversation, my enthusiasm dies on me. Then it becomes weird, cause I sound as though I am so irritated with the conversation I need to hit someone.

It becomes a conversation I hate.

I'm sorry to my family. I feel sorry everytime I sound that way on the phone. Its just an automated thing. I swear before I start the "hello", I'm so full of cheery things to say. Maybe I'm schizophrenic.

I feel awful after conversations like this. Console me...please... *lifts hands up in the air, looks up and shakes head*

Write...

Dance like there's no one watching...
Write like there's no one reading...

The former, I can't. The latter, I can still try.

Sometimes I just have so many words bottled up inside me, I just can't seem to put it into sentences. Other times I feel like writing about people I know, but fear they might take it to heart about the things I mention.

It is weird isn't it? So, this is what blogging is all about...